Journals

So, I decided to start writing down my feelings, questions, concerns, worries and whatever else I need to write down. Maybe this will help me understand what I am about to jump into

May 2011:
Asked my Dr for a referal for a bariatric surgeon.  I think it's time I get the bypass done and be done with all the dieting I have done for the past 30 yrs.  I'm tired of starting something and failing.

June 2011:
Told Gary about my decision on having bypass surgery.  He was wonderful as usual and is proud of me for taking this on.
Had Dr appointment for the lung nodules today ( good news...they are scarring only).  M came with us and found out that I am thinking about surgery.  She is concerned about how J died...I am too.

Aug 5th:
Finally called the bariatric surgeons office today to start the process.  Scared to death.  Every time I talk about it I seem to be crying...wonder why.

Aug 8th:
Starting to tell people that are close to me about the seminar coming up on the 16th.  Again...still crying.

Aug 16th:
Trying not to think about it too much, but the seminar is tonight.  Did get a nice surprise, O asked if she could go with me. 

It was nice to have someone there...thanks O!  The seminar was encouraging!  I am starting to get excited about it.

Aug 22nd:
Started working with my patient advocate today (Mary).  Called Dr's office and got the ball rolling on the paperwork needed from them.  Called Insurance company and really didn't learn anything new from them.  I do know that this is very affordable...yippee!!!!  It seems that I am still crying when I tell someone about it for the first time...not sure why.  I know that this is a big step and I'm so emotional about it...hormones? Nerves? Who knows

side note: there may be a chance that I could have been under my dr's care within the last two years.  I'm now thinking that I may have seen him in early 2009 for diet pills.  If this is true, we may jump the process up by a few months...don't want to get too excited about that...we'll see.

Aug 24th:
I am on fire right now! Spoke to my patient advocate and she seems to think we will be ok with the past diet info!!!  Made an appointment for the nutrition consultation, psych consult and had paperwork sent to the pulmonary and cardiac doctors!!  Things are moving fast.  Advocate told me today that if I can get these things done soon, I may be able to have surgery in October!!!  WOW

Sept 1st:
Saw Dr B today.  Numbers were pretty good all around for both Gary and I.  He gave me the letter of recommendation for the surgery...yippee!  I have co-morbidities that I didn't even know I had! Should help with the insurance decision.

Sept 2nd:
Had my nutrition consult today with Barb at insurance company.  I liked her.  Will talk again with her in two weeks.  Made my psych evaluation for the 10th.  That's Saturday and will be a three hour appointment...little nervous for that one.  I was also able to bump up the pulmonary clearance.  I will have everything done and should be turned in my the 15th of the month!  I am truly on track for surgery in mid to late October!!  Will call a friend of S's on Monday who had this done 10 yrs ago and pick her brain a little bit.

Sept 4th:
Took a big step today...didn't buy any fresca.  I have one case in the fridge, when that's gone...I'm done (heavy sigh).  Looking for something else to take it's place.  I like the Sobe lifewaters...bought a lot of them today to see which ones I like.  I think I will miss the carbonation...I know I will

side note: I do like the Sobe waters...most of them.  Still not finding anything to quench my thirst like Fresca did.  Guess it was the carbonation.  Drinking a lot of water, but I did before this journey started anyway.

Sept 9th:
Spoke to S's friend L tonight.  She was very nice and had a lot of information that I found helpful.

Sept 13th:
Been a busy week.   Had Cardiac appointment and still need to have the resting and running stress tests.  Halfway through with my Pulmonary tests.  Will go tomorrow and be done with that!  Had the psych eval on Saturday.  That was interesting and made for a long day.  567 questions ranging from "Do you read mechanic magazines" to "have you tried to kill yourself lately"?
O talked to me about taking pictures.  So I think I will start and take a pic every other week and then after surgery, weekly.  All paperwork was sent to insurance company today...now we wait.  Should be less that two weeks, I am getting nervous and still very excited!  Will have another nutrition consult on Friday with Barb with insurance company.


side note: Had my last Fresca on Friday night.  Right now, I don't miss it as much as I thought I would...time will tell I suppose.

Sept 14th:
Had my second Pulmonary appointment today.  Not good news for me...I have to have a sleep study as they think that I have sleep apnea. I had a moment of being a big baby about it...(thanks for listening Gary and O). I know that it's something I need to do...so let's get it done and over with.  Took my first picture today...it was hideous.


Sept 16th:
Had my "running" stress test today. Piece of cake! I didn't even break into a jog...guess that means I'm out of shape....ya think?
My advocate seems to think we will know something from the insurance company by next Wed!!!! I hope so.  I feel like the insurance is the biggest hurdle I need to get over. 
Had my second nutrition consult  today.  It was shorter than the first one.  Homework is working on not drinking while I eat meals...this is not as easy as it sounds.  I find that it's a habit and one that needs to be broken before surgery.
Sleep study tomorrow night...stay tuned.

Sept 18th:
Had my sleep study last night, interesting.  Fell asleep at about 12 and was awake by 2 am.  The technician came in and gave me the mask for sleep apnea.  Apparently I do have it...ugh.  I absolutely hated the mask!  After about 30 minutes or so, I asked for a smaller mask.  When the tech told they had enough information I asked if I could go home...he said yes!!  I was home by 3:30 am.  Not sure what the next step is with the machine, but we will see.  Class on Tuesday and final stress test on Wed.  Hopefully surgery in a few weeks!!!!  I find it mind boggling that I truly started the process on Aug 16th and it's less that 30 days later and I'm almost done with everything.  Wow...what a ride this has been so far.  Sept 22nd is Thur, I'm hoping for a surgery date by then! Stay tuned...

Sept 20th:
Had Bariatrics 101 today.  It's amazing how many people are willing to take this plunge into a new life and lifestyle without researching.  The class was not a surprise to me in any way due to the research I had done.  I was so glad that I did research up to that point. and saw how important this was to me.

Sept 21st:
Got THE CALL today!!!!!  Insurance has approved the surgery!!!  Oh my gosh, I was so happy. Such a worry off my shoulders.  What a roller coaster this has been.  Was waiting at the dr's office to finish my stress test and got a call from my advocate.  Seems we have a pulmonary speed bump.  Will find out more tomorrow...ugh.

Sept 23rd:
Heard from the Pulmonary dr today.  Seems I was sent home too early from the sleep study and they need to calibrate the machine for me. So, guess what...I have another sleep study tomorrow night!!!...yippee?  Oh well, let's get it over with and get the approval for surgery.  She said that she would approve me as soon as the calibration is done!  Still haven't heard anything from the Cardiac doctors..keep our fingers crossed.  I don't see any snags from them...but I didn't see any snags from the pulmonary doctors...shows you what I know...ha ha. Talked to S about starting a blog today, I think I will.  It will help me when I am home and needing to talk about things..I'm sure. 

Sept 25th:
Second sleep study last night.  I was started out with the machine and we tried several masks.  I ended up with the full face mask as this allows me to breath through my mouth and nose.  After getting all hooked up (it's quite an ordeal and some disgusting sticky stuff on your scalp).  I was able to be ready for bed at about 10:45 or so.  I really don't feel like I slept, but the tech said that I did.  Had a few times where I could feel the air coming out of the mask onto my face and tried to fix it.  The tech came in and fixed it for me.  I tossed and turned a bit more and possibly fell asleep again for a little bit.  I woke at around 4:45 and laid there for a little while then was ready to get out of bed.  They said they were about to wake me soon and that I was done with the study!  I was unhooked and sent home!  I brought the mask home, now just waiting to hear from the Pulmonary dr.  I'll call her tomorrow.

Sept 26th:
Called the Pulmonary dr today and left a message letting her know that I had completed the second sleep study.  Called my advocate and told her too.  My advocate called me this afternoon and told me that the Cardiac dr has cleared me for surgery!!  Just one more clearance and I will have a surgery date!  Should hear something tomorrow.

Sept 27th:
No news...hopefully will hear tomorrow.

Sept 28th:
First off, no news yet...ugh.  Do these people not know how impatient I am????  Oh well, let's hope for tomorrow.
Second off, I am a believer of "everything happens for a reason".  The company that I work for just offered free gym membership for employees and their spouses!!  So, we have signed up!  What a great opportunity!  What are the odds that I get a free gym membership the same week I get my surgery date? 
If I don't get the surgery date tomorrow...look for a crazy lady in Phoenix taking out a weight loss center!!!  Stay tuned...maybe see you on the evening news...ha ha!

Sept 29th:
You didn't see me on the evening news because.....I GOT MY SURGERY DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OCTOBER 11TH!!  Yes, that is less than two weeks away.  Someone asked me how I felt when I heard the date....happy, scared, thrilled, excited, terrified, nervous, relieved..."all of the above".  I pick up the protein powder drink tomorrow and it's good bye food for awhile.  Guess we are going out to dinner tonight for my "last supper"!  That's ok, it's all a good thing and I am more than ready right now.  Have plans to work out tomorrow with C at the gym...we'll see how that goes...

Sept 30th:
Meeting C at the gym this morning, then going to pick up my meals for the next several weeks.  I'll let you know how they taste.  Should be interesting.

Went to the gym and I wasn't as intimidated as I thought I would have been.   Will go tomorrow with Gary and see how it goes.

Well...had a piece of toast with a little peanut butter on it as my last food.  It's 1:14 in the afternoon and I'm drinking my first shake of many many more.  Not too bad...chocolate flavor...kind of tastes like a "Carnation instant breakfast drink".  I had the choice of Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry and Banana....I chose Chocolate and Vanilla.  Might have the vanilla for dinner tonight!

Got the hospital bill today.  This needs to be paid by the morning of surgery...now this is something nobody tells you...so I'm telling you now...save up.  It could be worse...insurance could not have accepted and then it would have been unattainable.

side note: When I bought the protein powder today they gave me a reusable grocery bag that has in very large lettering "BARIATRIC ADVANTAGE"...really?  Like I will ever take this reusable grocery bag to the grocery store...ha ha  (just thought I would share the sick humor I saw in that)

Having the vanilla right now for dinner. Decided to try it with ice in the blender...very tasty.  I'm sure this will get old, but right now it's not too bad.  Thinking about putting some cinnamon in it tomorrow...that should be good.  Now I just need to figure out how to use my blender at work.

Oct 1st:
At the risk of sounding like "Andy Rooney from 60 minutes"...have you ever noticed when you can't eat anything how many commercials are about food???  I'm not hungry at all, but am just noticing this quite a bit.

Went to the gym with Gary today!  Going tomorrow as well!  I've decided to start tracking my weight loss as of now, knowing that this liquid diet and the gym will bring down my weight.

side note: When I spoke with S's friend L on her experiences with this process, she said something to me that has stuck with me more now than ever...We were talking about the clear liquids after surgery and the pureed/soft food phase.  She didn't have to have the liquid diet prior to surgery like I am, but I'm still thinking strongly about her words when it came to these phases...."eating/drinking this stuff is a minuscule part of the process in the big picture"  This has helped me so much each time I think about what I'm allowed to eat/drink in the next 10 weeks.

Oct 2nd:
Went to the gym again this morning with Gary!  Walked on treadmill for 30 minutes and worked on some weights for under my arms and thighs.  I thought it would take longer for me to be tired of the shake....but guess not, cause I have no desire to eat that anymore.  I know I need to and I will.  Good thing...losing weight because of the liquid diet.  Hopefully drop some pretty fast.

Oct 3rd:
First day at work on the liquid diet...man that was hard.  First off, I forgot my lunch...so thank you C for bringing it to me! Well, there really isn't a "second off" so I guess I was just wanting to whine a bit.  Each day gets me closer to the finish line...so I'll stop whining for now.

Oct 4th:
Gary and I had the surgery class today.  Very interesting and really gave you a lot of information on what to expect and what you need to do to heal and recuperate. Received some great idea for food for the three weeks after surgery.  I have my hospital lab work tomorrow...they tell me it's gonna be 4 to 5 hours....ish!  Stay tuned...

Oct 5th:
Lab work is all done!  Was there at 7 am and was done by 9:30!!  Pays to be the first one there.  So, when you get your call for the pre surgery labwork...ask to be the first appointment it will go much quicker.  I'm going to list what was done to help you prepare for it yourself.

Admission paperwork
Questionaire with the RN

Phlebotomy floor:
Blood draw - 4 vials
urine specimen

Respiratory floor:
ECG
Lung capacity test
Practice breathing with the Spirometer (this will be used in the hospital 10 times an hour for every waking hour)
Blood draw from an artery for blood/oxygen levels



Xray floor:
Ultra Sound - entire abdomen area to see all organs. (This was done by a student and that was fun and a little painful as she couldn't find certain organs and was pushing harder and harder to see them)
Chest xrays
Upper G I

The good news is, I am all checked in and ready to go for my surgery on the 11th!  Can't seem to think about anything else at this point but that.  Picked up the bowel cleansing stuff today...ish.  That will be Monday evenings fun!  Think I'm going to measure today and put them in my private info and maybe let you all know down the road.

side note: Ate one of the protein bars tonight.  Since I haven't chewed on anything in 5 days I think my judgement might be a bit skewed.  I know the flavor was not great, but it was nice to feel like I was eating something fairly normal.

Oct 7th:
4 days to go...wow.  Leaving shortly to go pick up my cpap machine for the sleep apnea...that should make for an interesting night tonight!  One stop at the pharmacy and I am completely ready for Tuesday.

Oct 8th:
First night using the cpap machine...it wasn't as bad as when I used it at the sleep study.  I slept with it on for about 5 hours and then took it off.  It was extremely quiet.  I just hope that I don't have to have this forever.  I can deal with it for a few months...time will tell.
Made eggs and toast for Gary this morning.  It was almost like nothing was different and it was rather comforting.  Fixing it to me was almost as good as eating it. Gym and cleaning today, I am spent!

Oct 9th:
Night 2 of the cpap machine was not bad.  Have a lot to do today to get ready for the hospital.  House is almost completely clean...good feeling.
Went to the gym this morning, got my hair cut and treated myself to a manicure so I feel "together" at the hospital.  We'll see if that really works...ha ha.  Can think of absolutely nothing else right now...but getting thru Tuesday.  Had J yesterday for the afternoon and now going to get a visit from K & J (AKA...men in black). 
Good news...no more protein drink for a few days...woooo hooooo!  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad.  But 3 times a day is a little overkill.  Sadly looking forward to sf jello and broth tomorrow.

Oct 10th:
Well, it's 5:15 am the day before surgery...I have to get 40 hours of work into a 10 hour day today.  That's good cause it will keep my mind off of tomorrow's event...for a little while.  Barely used the cpap last night, not sure why but I'll try it again tonight.  By the way...if you didn't see the weight loss tracker posting, then I'll tell you...I HIT TEN POUNDS LOST TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I figure after tonights 'event' I should lose another pound or two!  Would like to go into surgery 12 pounds down already.
2 glasses down of the bowel cleansing...mmmmmm (dripping with sarcasm there).  Was given a wonderful gift from friends at work today...flowers, book, gift card, magazines, facial packets, movies, music and a wonderful card with lot's of well wishes...thank you so much O, C, J & S.  Another good thing happened today...Gary is driving me to the hospital and gonna be able to be there with me the whole time!!!  Yippee...Thanks Babe.
4th glass down and it brings to mind a saying that my Mom has always said..."Get people hungry enough and they'll eat just about anything".

Oct 11th: SURGERY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!  I actually had a dream last night...you might find this funny.  I dreamt that I ate a few pieces of my Mom's coffee cake and I couldn't figure out how to hide it from the doctors today when they were in my stomach!  I'm sure Freud would have a hay day with that one.
Well, I'm almost all packed (still have to pack up the laptop so I can blog while in hospital).  Leaving in about 2 hours.  I guess Im more worried about giving up control to the doctors...not that I dont trust them, I just don't like to give control to anyone when it comes to me and my family.  This is the way I see it though: Give them the control today and after that...it's all up to me!  When I get home on Thursday, it will be completely in my court and that is how I like it.  This is my last post pre op...next post...post op!  Till then...